For nine seasons, the acclaimed CBS sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond followed the goings-on of the larger than life Barone family, ranging from hapless husband Ray to harried wife Debra, to parents and in-laws Frank and Marie who lived right across the street and caused chaos whenever they could. The series is known for its spitfire humor, its depiction of a proudly Italian family, and for conforming to one of the most familiar sitcom tropes of all time: the idiot husband and the long-suffering wife.
There’s no denying that Ray and Debra Barone loved each other dearly, no matter how much they may have fought. But there’s also no denying that these two could be pretty terrible to each other when they wanted to be. We’ve rounded up some of the worst things they ever did to each other to prove it.
Ray: Voted against her in the school president election
It’s no secret to anyone who’s ever watched the show even once before that Ray doesn’t exactly pull his weight around the house, whether it comes to helping with the kids or doing any menial house work or making dinner. So in the episode “A Vote for Debra,” when Ray finds himself faced with a potential world in which he’ll have to do more around the house, it’s safe to say he panics.
Debra decides to run for the position of school committee president, proving herself to be a capable and formidable candidate. Afraid of what this could mean for him, Ray instead votes for her opponent — his own nemesis, Bill Parker.
Debra: Invades his office space
It’s one of the earliest storylines established in the series. Thanks to the flexibility of Ray’s career as a sportswriter for New York Newsday, and at Debra’s urging, Ray sets up a satellite office for his work in the family home’s basement so he won’t have to go into the office. As a result, he’s able to be around the family more and, ostensibly, can help out.
But one of the irritating byproducts of this decision is Debra’s often flagrant tendency to come and disturb Ray while he’s working. Even if not nagging him directly, she often stands around the office, talking loudly on the phone and noisily searching for things while he is trying to work in peace.
Ray: AIS
Ray and Robert had quite the traumatic experience as children as a result of a policy their father Frank instituted known as AIS — shorthand for “ass in seat.” If they weren’t in the car by a certain time Frank had set in stone, he would leave without them. No more, no less. It’s a strict parenting method, but definitely one that shouldn’t be implemented in a marriage.
So, of course, that’s exactly what Ray does to poor Debra in one episode. After lamenting how long it takes for Debra to get ready for events, Ray and Debra come to an agreement that she will be ready by a certain time, AIS. And when a freak accident with her straightening iron means that Debra can’t make it on time, Ray stupidly leaves without her, and returns home to her wrath at the night’s end.
Debra: Sabotaged his Christmas photo for Marie
It’s hardly a secret that Debra and Ray’s mother Marie don’t exactly like each other. But it’s a far less frequently explored storyline that’s at the heart of this next entry on this list. Marie may not like Debra very much, but she really, really doesn’t like Debra’s stuffy, upper class parents Lois and Warren.
So when Ray decides to get Marie a beautiful Barone family portrait for her Christmas present, what does Debra do? She invites Lois and Warren along to be part of the portrait, knowing full well that Ray would lose his mind and that Marie would be furious and hurt, too.
Ray: Didn’t help her when she was choking
It’s a pretty common trope in sitcoms for husbands to be portrayed as clueless and useless in basically every way imaginable. But it’s especially bad when a husband is useless in times of crisis - such as when Ray doesn’t so much as move a muscle when poor Debra starts choking in the living room.
When Debra starts having a coughing fit after a piece of orange goes down the wrong way, Ray simply watches her and, even worse, turns the television volume up louder so her coughing won’t disturb him in any way. It’s no wonder, then, that the episode in which this takes place is called “What Good Are You?”
Debra: Denied he was her husband during the school president election
Ray isn’t the only one who makes a pretty big mistake in the episode that finds Debra running for president of the school committee. During the election night proceedings, Ray makes a bit of a fool of himself at the buffet, helping himself to plenty of food and getting some on himself in the process.
As a result of his idiotic behavior, Debra tells people that she has no idea who he is, because she is embarrassed by him and wants nothing to do with him. When she tells Ray this afterward, it’s perhaps one of the most hurt times we see him throughout the entire series.
Ray: The entire PMS episode
As we’ve already established, Ray is pretty much one of the dumbest husbands in sitcom history, and television history overall. But by far one of the worst things he ever did also comes in one of the episodes widely regarded as among the series’ best.
The memorable episode “Bad Moon Rising” finds Ray making basically every mistake in the book when it comes to dealing with Debra during her period, including trying to offer her medication to help with her mood swings, as if a simple pill can solve what she’s going through.
Debra: Mocked him with their kids’ behind his back
It’s basically expected for parents to joke around with their kids behind their spouse’s backs. But it’s another thing entirely for one parent to make bets with kids at the other’s expense, and to instill in their children the belief that their other parent is an idiot.
Ray may not always be the sharpest knife in the drawer — we’re not arguing that at all. But the episode “Whose Side Are You On?”, which finds Debra encouraging the kids to make bets about what their dopey dad will or will not notice feels especially mean-spirited.
Ray: Taped football over their wedding video
The previous entries on this list of Ray’s bad behavior might have been pretty bad, but arguably the worst thing Ray ever did during the series’ run actually happened prior to the series ever starting. As the episode “The Tenth Anniversary” reveals, Ray once foolishly recorded a football game over the VHS containing his and Debra’s wedding.
Of course, the episode results in Ray arranging a vow renewal ceremony, with the express purpose of winning Debra’s favor again and to have that ceremony recorded in place of the original. But in the end, not even that ceremony makes it to tape, leaving them without a full ceremony recorded on either occasion.
Debra: Convinced him to move across the street from Frank and Marie
Everybody Loves Raymond is one of the rare sitcoms that actually knows how to make the most out of flashback episodes and always packs a real punch when it does. This goes as far back as the series’ first season, which uses its season finale episode “Why Are We Here?” to reveal the worst thing Debra ever did in the course of the series.
As it turns out, it was a very naive Debra who made the decision to move in across the street from Frank and Marie, despite Ray’s very, very, very frequent attempts to convince her of otherwise. But hey, if she didn’t do that, then we never would’ve had a series to begin with. So maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.
